"You Play Like a Girl"...YUP.

Buckle up, friends.  This post is about to get long...and real.  With strong opinions and likely grammatical errors and run-on sentences (did you see what I did there, English majors?).  Little to no pictures of my cute children.

Still with me?

Awesome.  Sometime last year, I wrote about a seemingly-small, and to many, insignificant incident that I experienced at the local YMCA.  You can read about it here.  I approached it with a sort of tone that might have implied it was just a silly and whimsical situation, but in all actuality, it has been a real thorn in my side.  

In summary, my husband and I played basketball at a gym in which I was the only female player.  My presence was not well received, and I was openly subjected to sexist remarks and attitudes, despite (or maybe I should say "in spite of") my equal, if not superior, basketball skills.  After this experience, we haven't gone back to play...until a few weeks ago.

I really love playing basketball.  It seriously is the one thing that I can honestly admit to being good at and is something I love about myself.  I know the game inside out, and I love it just the same.  If I would've made different decisions in my younger life, I know without a doubt that I could've done really great things with my career in basketball.  My parents invested countless hours and thousands of dollars in my potential, and I put in the work.  Basketball is not only a huge part of my life, but is also now a treasured activity that I get to share with my husband, and it has bonded us more than I can express.  Though it may sound trite, playing makes me happy and I don't know what I'd do if I couldn't play anymore.  

Why am I telling you this? 

Last week, my husband and I went back to play again.  The first few days were great.  There was a younger group of men that were not even phased by my presence.  It was normal.  Then, on the third day, some familiar faces turned up...

"No, no, no!  These teams aren't fair.  We gotta switch things up.  We got the chick on our team?"

"What's the matter, you sitting out because we're being too mean to you, sweetie?"

"Ok, it's me, Mark, Chris...what's your name, bro?  Ok, Josh... and the girl."

"Dave, Dave!  Just keep working her on the screens, chick doesn't know what she's doing.  Easy shot.  She doesn't know what she's doing."

How mild are these comments in comparison to the monstrosities others face based on their gender, race, religion, sexual-orientation, etc.?!  It's still hurtful and maddening, however.  Like I mentioned earlier, basketball means a lot to me, and to have someone act like I am inferior and don't deserve to be involved based on my gender is NOT OK.  I admittedly cowered to this pathetic demonstration, and offered to sit out if my presence was going to cause any problems.  My first and last mistake.  I am not going to be pushed around by some egocentric, uneducated, chauvinistic jerk who has nothing better to do than search for my weaknesses instead of addressing his own.  On a more positive note, I guess more than the disdain for this perpetuated attitude, my heart is full of gratitude for the famed and unheralded alike, who have battled the sting of discrimination and endured for change.  I want to be that caliber of a person.

In conclusion, "You play like a girl" is a compliment, and I won't let anyone insinuate differently.  Look out, haters.

   

"

The Slight Shift of Slumber

Tonight we got home pretty late after Josh's basketball game.  I wanted to just put the kids to bed so I could go to bed myself.  This day had been a trying one...an emotional one.  I tried for twenty minutes with no avail to get both kids calmed down, and after denying Axton's tearful and very adamant pleas for me to lay down with him, I left the room frustrated, only to hear Anchor begin to cry louder.  Eleven o'clock.  My kids were wide awake and cranky.  Perfect.

After a few minutes of hearing their lasting cries, I stopped paying attention.  But not too long after that, I noticed that both kids had suddenly stopped crying.  I went to check on them.

As I peeked into the room, I saw Axton cradling his baby brother in his arms and carrying him over to his bed.  He had successfully picked Anchor up and gotten him out of the crib somehow.  I could hear him whispering, "It's ok little brother, it's ok.  Axton's here.  It's ok sweet baby."  He brought Anchor into the bed with him and put the blankets over them, continuing to whisper over the baby's soft whimpers, "It's ok, it's ok".  Once under the blankets, I saw Anchor instinctively curl into Axton, and his soft whimpers immediately turned into a dull, rolling snore.  All the while, Axton's hand gently patted Anchor's back in a sweet and uneven rhythm: "It's ok.  It's ok.  Axton's here."

And I watched as my children fell asleep together.

A Reason, A Season, A Lifetime

I read this many years ago and it has been weighing heavily on my mind today.  I wanted to share:

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.

When you figure out which one it is,

you will know what to do for each person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON,

it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.

They have come to assist you through a difficulty;

to provide you with guidance and support;

to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.

They may seem like a godsend, and they are.

They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,

this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.

Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.

Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.

What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.

The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON,

because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.

They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.

They may teach you something you have never done.

They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.

Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;

things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.

Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person,

and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.

It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

-Brian A. Chalker

Picture Day!

My all-too-talented-sister-in-law (holy hyphens!), Julie, took our family pictures!  I'm pretty darn sure she had to go through a lot of images just to get these precious few...I love 'um because these boys make me look good!  Thank you, Julie, you rock my socks! (Note: I have omitted an otherwise fantastic picture of us all walking off into the sunset.  Let's just say that my skinny jeans did not serve their purpose, thus catalyzing my New Year's resolution to work- the freak- out!)