...My Baby You'll Be

Last night I watched my friend's little ones for a few hours. I was impressed. So impressed, actually, that I have been consumed by the thoughts of my "horrible" parenting skills the entire day. All three kiddos were in bed by 7:30, without any resistance or wild tantrums. The oldest girl, whom Axton happens to be utterly in love with, gave him a kiss goodnight. Not a peep out of that room for the rest of my time there. Meanwhile, I had Axton in tote, and he was not ready to go to bed at 7:30...he was actually quite insistent about going to the zoo that very moment!

Sometimes I can't help but feel utterly lacking in my role as a mother when I encounter examples like this. I am surrounded by a demographic of friends that are on top of their game when it comes to mothering, and honestly...it is super intimidating. Today, however, while I was on minute 45 of my shopping trip, and the little guy had all but punched me in the face (that was probably coming soon, though), he calmly asked for my hand. When I gave it to him, he placed it

on the side of his face, and said, "Love you, Mommy, " and proceeded to lay his head down on the edge of the cart basket.

Let me tell you, it's kind of awkward when you start crying in the toothpaste aisle at Target.

It's hard to not get upset when he is smirking at me from the top of a 20 ft ladder at church after I've frantically ran across the room telling him to stop but he's already 5 ft above my head. It's irritating to fish the remote control out of dirty dish water for the third time in twenty minutes. It's almost impossible not to cringe when he has decided to uproot my Plumeria even though I've already put him on time out for attempting it a second earlier.

But...

it's not hard to love him. Not one bit. It is oh, so easy! And I can't help but remember that no matter how dismal I think I can be as a mother sometimes, I will always have this amazing, loving, perfect proof that I am doing SOMETHING right.