The Ungraceful Pregnancy Club: Junk in da...Entire Stinkin' Car

It is incredibly embarrassing for me to admit this, but I am having a super hard time with this pregnancy weight thing and not eating EVERYTHING...ALL THE TIME.   I'm having an an even harder time finding the motivation to exercise after said eating binges.  I'm no math wiz or anything, but I'm pretty sure consuming more calories than you burn ends up getting you sarcastic comments from your skinny OBGYN.

I said earlier that I am embarrassed about this whole excessive weight gain conundrum, but I'm actually mortified about it.  I dread getting dressed every morning and putting make-up on because I have to look in the frickin' HUGE mirror that somehow seems way bigger than it did seven months ago.  I've always been an athlete and  in pretty good shape, so I just assumed that would translate into pregnancy...but sadly...depressingly...my athleticism has been swallowed up by a very large and very hungry pregnant version of myself.  To make things a hundred times worse, several of my friends are currently pregnant and they all look fantastic (Sallee, I am talking about you and BTW: you are officially dismembered from the club on account of you don't belong in it AT ALL!).  

Coming to grips with the fact that I haven't really been taking care of myself, and that I have lacked the discipline that so many others seem to maintain during pregnancy, is kind of a ringer.  And don't worry...this isn't some post to gather sympathetic or kind remarks like, "You look great!"...it's not, and I don't.  However, I have learned a very pertinent life lesson during all of this: I can EASILY eat an entire pan of Ghiradelli Double Chocolate Brownies by myself...and let's be honest, that is pretty dang impressive!

Some escalating thoughts from this morning...

Is this really MY body?

Where does the other car seat go?

How do you take a shower during the day with two kids?

How do you bring in groceries when you have a toddler and a newborn?

What happens when the store only has shopping carts with room available for one child?

How am I possibly going to be responsible for another life and do it without ruining the other one? 

DANG.

The Sorting Hat

J and I kinda like the Harry Potter books...go ahead and label me now, it's cool. We were reminiscing about our good ol' high school days, when the question of our then-personalities and popularity came up in the conversation. J was quite the stud in high school, and let's just say I wasn't riding on the Cool Train during those years! Well, for some reason, he thought it would be fun to classify us into our respective Hogwartz houses. He immediately said he would be in Griffindor. Apparently because he was THAT cool. And the guy didn't hesitate in sorting me...

HUFFLEPUFF

.

He didn't even retract his statement...even a little bit.

He told me I "just looked like a Hufflepuff..."

I'm not really sure how I was supposed

to react to that?

Anyways, we've been playing this "Sorting Game" with other people we know. Let me just add with a mild tone of irony that my husband also sorted one of his ex-girlfriends into Griffindor. (Lance and Ryan: you are Slytherin...hands down!)

I've come to the conclusion that my husband obviously thinks he is way cooler than me. I'm thinking he's relating himself to Harry, and if that is the case...I don't really know where I fit into the picture?!

Well, at least I've got one fellow Hufflepuff to keep me company...

Find out where the Sorting Hat would place you here.

Retention

Have you ever been mirrored before? Have you ever been mirrored by a 3-year-old?

It's a pretty humbling experience.

This morning, Axton put me on a time out. I'm thinking he wanted some alone time so he could go drop things off our patio (a favorite past-time), and apparently, I was seriously thwarting this activity. So, he looked me square in the face and said, "Mommy, time out! RIGHT NOW!"

He then took my hand and sternly marched me into HIS bedroom, pointed to his bed, and said, "Go on the bed, LAY DOWN! Time out, Mommy. STAY HERE! UNDERSTAND?!!!"

After he shut the door, I gave him a solid two minutes to let his lesson to me sink in. What in the world am I doing as a parent?!!!!

Just as I was on the verge of tears, my little man walked in the room with an abnormally empathetic expression on his little face and said, "You ok, Mommy? I love you so much." He then walked over to me and gave me kisses on the forehead.

I guess that's how we roll?!

"There in the quiet isolation of the Garden of Gethsemane, He knelt among the gnarled olive trees, and in some incredible way that none of us can fully comprehend, the Savior took upon Himself the sins of the world. Even though His life was pure and free of sin, He paid the ultimate penalty for sin—yours, mine, and everyone who has ever lived. His mental, emotional, and spiritual anguish were so great they caused Him to bleed from every pore . And yet Jesus suffered willingly so that we might all have the opportunity to be washed clean—through having faith in Him, repenting of our sins, being baptized by proper priesthood authority, receiving the purifying gift of the Holy Ghost by confirmation, and accepting all other essential ordinances. Without the Atonement of the Lord, none of these blessings would be available to us, and we could not become worthy and prepared to return to dwell in the presence of God."

-M. Russell Ballard

The Ungraceful Pregnancy Club

Now accepting new members!

Coming Soon: The Ungraceful Pregnancy-Weight-Loss Club

Because you can never have enough pictures of Disneyland...

This is why my linens are always wrinkled!!!

Man Cub

Apparently, this child is rarely clothed.