Workin'

Just finished this for my aunt's co-worker. "Dolores the Bingo Queen".

?

Your guess is as good as mine.

The picture, unfortunately, doesn't include the entire scene. Vaseline covered walls, curling irons everywhere, half-eaten apples strewn across the ground. Obviously, Listerine was the next best thing to get into.

This kid has been finding anything and everything to bust open, mess up, throw on the ground, and smear on his body. Admittedly, not all of these excursions stay my patience. This particular incident, however, seemed photo-worthy!

I wish I knew what was going through his head!

Sleep Patterns

Holy late night, Batman! The husband works from 7pm-3am, Friday-Sunday. Delivering sushi of all things. It's a pretty sweet gig, in that it's pretty compatible with his availability. Not so sweet in regards to our precious z's, however.

It's 1:52 am and I am wide awake. For some reason, I find it really hard to fall asleep when J isn't here. So, generally speaking, I end up hitting the hay around 3am...only to be woken up at 7am by a urine-soaked little boy, pleading for milk and a peanut butter sandwich.

To top this all off, Ax's sleeping sched is completely bonkers! He WILL NOT fall asleep any earlier than 9:30pm. Really? REALLY? Early naps, no naps, short naps, early dinner...nothing will counteract this horrible, vicious, cycle. And then he wakes up at the crack of dawn. If I were a Xanax person...I would pop one right about now.

I can't remember what it is like to get a full 8 hours of sleep. I can't remember what falling asleep before 10 feels like either. I know I am not the only mother in the world who has ever gone through this, but for the love of all that is good, someone please tell me that in heaven you get to sleep in!!!!

Extended Birthday!

Josh took me to see the Israelian-based Vertigo Dance Company last night at UCSD. For lack of a better description...it was fantastic! I was so captivated by their performance and the subtleties we were able to experience as an audience. Very powerful.

Anyways, a big thank you to the Poole's for watching the little man so we could attend! Also, a big shout-out to TGIFriday's for providing pre-performance grub!

What the?

My body is aching right now...no, not aching...it's slowly dying of pain. Ms."I-think-I-can-lift-what-I-did-when-I-was-19" decided to do power cleans and squats for the first time in years. I don't even remember postpartum being this horrific. After three solid attempts at picking up my phone off the ground, I finally did it an hour later. I'm one of those people at the gym who overestimates their abilities. I start off with too much weight, too high a resistance, or too fast a speed. With that being said, I feel the need to express my deepest gratitude for the person who invented the "EMERGENCY STOP" button on treadmills. Brilliant, just brilliant.

Anyways, I read this article today, and can kind of relate. However, my goal was never intentionally to gain 40 pounds, it just kind of happened with all the ice cream and orange chicken...and the growing fetus inside my body. My thoughts are as follows: this guys is making news headlines for sacrificing his body to weight gain. He is putting his body through a very unhealthy lifestyle...all so he can prove that he can get back into shape. Pat on the back to him, but don't you think they should've just found a pregnant woman to document her story?

Josh, meet Fitted Jeans.

The husband woke me up this morning and asked if I wanted to go get some new clothes with him. We've been talking about such an outing for a while because he will be meeting with deans from different dental schools at receptions a few times a month. Gotta make a good impression!

So, off we went. This was his shopping outfit:

You'll notice he has paired white gym socks with his FAVORITE blue sandals, as well as his little brother's high school shirt. The brown cargo shorts have this morning's breakfast on them.

After showing me a few yellow Adidas shirts and a pair of Wranglers he liked, I knew it was time to intervene. The poor guy has never really shopped for style. His idea of trendy involves a trip to the local thrift store...and I'm not talking cool,vintage, unique thrift store items, I'm talking collared shirts in mint green and black.

Let me throw a disclaimer out there to cover call bases. I am not, in fact, a fashionista by any definition. My wardrobe shows no sign of style, unless you count what was happening in late 2006...which is about the last time I really went shopping. This, however, is not due to lack of taste, rather, lack of expendable income.

Anyways, these are some things we came back with (sorry some pics are blurry):

He started feeling pretty confident.

I'd say it was a big success. He is now the owner of not 1, but 3 v-neck shirts! Do I even need to mention the fact that he was carrying around the same Velcro wallet he's had since high school? Well, I took care of that too! Look out, Abercrombie!

Hate is...

Race, religion, gender, ethnicity, socio-economic status, sexual-orientation, education...eye color?

And its perpetuation isn't always violence, radical intolerance, or belligerence.

It is a quiet, growing silence. Muteness to injustice. Subdued resolution.

Judgment. Comparison. Criticism. Jealousy. Competition.

It is not knowing, a reaction to not understanding, a conclusion of naivety.

It is what we hate about ourselves that we find so readily-available in others.

It is easy. Brash. Indulgent. Expected. Encouraged. Idolized. Learned.

Accepted.

Hate is fear.

Help me to not be fearful.

Man Hands

JERRY: She had man hands.

ELAINE: Man, Hands?
JERRY: The hands of a man. It’s like a creature out of Greek Mythology, I mean, she was lik

e part woman, part horrible beast.

.....and thus, Seinfeld labeled me.

Tonight, I went to a meeting with the husband for his Pre-Dental Society. It's the first time I've met anyone from his club. Obviously, handshaking would be the appropriate greeting gesture, but tonight, it proved to be incredibly awkward for me. Why? Because almost all of the people I shook hands with were five-foot-nothing, 85-pound, Asian girls....with itty, bitty, tiny hands.

I have a pretty hardy handshake, always have. I think it stems from the basketball court and trying to give hard high-fives. I always kick myself after shaking a woman's hand with a little too much gusto, and she offers up one a these...

There's not a lot of things more humbling in life than getting the dainty handshake after revealing your man hands.

As of late...

Working on Axton's room
and bday/baby gifts.

Google me this, Google me that.

As I type, there is a kitchen full of dirty dishes waiting to be washed. Have I mentioned we have no dishwasher? Have I mentioned I loathe doing dishes? I've been giving myself a pep-talk for the past 30 minutes, and it's not working.

In the meantime, Google and Yahoo! News have been my means of procrastination, and they have not disappointed. This, for example:

Jonah Hill?! What???!!!

And this:

Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher Attend Kabbalah Service Together

First of all, weird picture choice. Second, I think the fact that I went to the grocery store at 8:59pm with a sleepy toddler last night warrants a news headline with corresponding picture and trailing paparazzi crowd.

At least a pat on the back, ya?

26...

Happy Birthday! You're such a big boy now!